Have you ever been grocery shopping with the intention of buying a specific item, only to come home with everything but the thing you went there for ? If you are like me you have and will most likely agree. Over years I had done this on many many occasions to the point where I now make a shopping list, which does really help in terms of economy of time used and that important process called budgeting. So I will now set out with my trusty list, even if there’s only 2 or 3 items on it and successfully
complete my shopping adventure with expedience.
Actually adventure is probably the wrong description, unless your shopping for something exciting like a new mobile phone or an item of clothing to compliment your wardrobe full of clothes that always seem to be shrinking. UndoubtedlyI now feel more confident as I head out to the shops to be back home in time to do the things I really enjoy and find meaningful.
That is not to say that shopping is meaningless as it does serve a purpose and sometimes multiple purposes, depending on how many shops you're prepared to visit and how much time you are willing to invest. And when I shop there is an implied commitment to at least buy something, and only until recently, 2 minute ago to be precise, did I understand the virtues of window shopping,
particularly when your making a major purchase, like a mobile phone, a car or something else relevant to you. One time recently I purchased which only vaguely resembled the thing I really
wanted and came home disappointed and frustrated when my sweet wife informed me that I bought a cucumber instead of zucchini.
Now you may laugh and please do, but maybe you know someone who did the same thing once.The major learning I took from that experience was how important it is to really examine things before putting them in the trolley. The steadfast shopper who knows what they want is less likely to deviate or gather items that have no purpose or value. What about the steadfast individual who knows who they are , their strengths,
qualities and yes even weaknesses yet to be overcome. Some propose that we are just the average of the 10 people we spend most of our time with. But if this were actually true what does it
say about the uniqueness and beauty of our human conditions.I believe we should always be true to ourselves regardless of the things other people might say to or about us.
When we not just hear, but take in and internalise what others say about us, it is just like filling our shopping trolly with the things we don’t need. This might include the suggestions that we are
batting above our average when it comes to pursuing our romantic interest or that we should not apply for the promotion. This happened to me may years ago when a colleague laughed when I said I was going for a higher position, urging me not to waste my time applying cause i would not get it.
If I had been more of a reflective person I would have seen that her statement was more about her as she had been in the same role for 15 years and was not likely to progress any further.
Sometimes we need to examine the fruit before we put it in the trolley as it may either be bruised, too soft or too hard. This can apply to other items. If they’re past the use by date then put them back. It’s the same thing with other people’s negative comments, pick it up, examine and if it doesn’t serve you well or inspire and affirm you in some way then just say No !
That is not to say constructive criticism is to always be ignored if indeed it is constructive. However we really need to question the other person’s motivation or personal mind set that underlies their statement. We need to be confident and comfortable enough to both accept certain comments and well needed advice from others and repel them if they aren’t helpful or edifying. Yes sometimes we need to simply say, “I’m not putting that in my trolly because I do not need it” !