What Makes You Come Alive ?
I see Kiss are doing another farewell tour. Strange I was lucky enough to see them at Carrara stadium in the year 2000 doing what turned out to be the first of many of their farewell tours. Maybe you were there too, and if not, well that’s okay. And what about John Farnham and his myriad of “see you round” tours. Apart from his recent and hopefully not life altering surgery, he always seems so effervescent to me. How about the Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger prancing around like a teenager and Keith Richards, despite the parody’s on face book (if you are as vintaged as me), well he just keeps on going. And the list goes on and rather cynically I used to question, “haven’t they made enough money by now?” Maybe and maybe not, but as I am getting older myself I realise that money is not the point.
“Yo Adrian, I’m a fighter and fighter’s fight!” and “I yam what I yam!” I’m sure you can put a names to these profound statements. Two men, albeit one an actor and the other my favourite cartoon character simply expressing the fundamental elements of who they are and why they do what they do. I suggest that if they had simply given in to the constraints of the world and public opinion there would have been no Rocky Balboa or Popeye the Sailor Man.
Maybe that does not resonate with you and if not I would ask you to consider someone you admire or propose , “well that person really has it all together” . And it is okay to have those feelings. But what about you, do you have similar feelings about yourself, and are we even allowed to ?. Sure we’ve probably all met those people who are always talking about the selves and whatever you’ve done, they have done it 100 times better. “Yeh man you caught a fish well I caught whale !” and “how much money did you make last year ?”. Unless its the tax office you are not obligated to say. I actually wonder what those people are hiding and don’t start me talking about selfies. What are they about, If not “look at me, look at me, look at me !” and I’m not alluding to Kath and Kim.
Sitting at the Nerang Bowls club sipping on a Carlton Black waiting for the Polo Volkswagen to be serviced and keeping my patience in check, making the most of the waiting time. I used to lament on all the time I spent waiting on train stations or at traffic lights and movies I regretted seeing, but believing it was somehow immoral to walk out of a cinema, as it was an insult to the actors and script writers who no doubt spent months and even years creating something that only lasted 1.5 hours at most, only to have someone like me walk out before boredom and frustration swallowed me whole. But it meant something to them and at the end of the day does matter. There is no such thing as wasted time, if we embrace the myriad of opportunity that it affords.
Anyway I feel I may be rambling and I can imagine my mirror critic cajoling me to get to the point. The script writer writes because he or she enjoys the process of writing and maybe making a bit of money on the side. I remember Lou Reed was once asked what that great social commentary “Walk on the Wild Side” meant to him, His answer no doubt would have annoyed and even infuriated musicologists who probably expected some deep and profound statement like “well have you got a spare couple of days? No, he answered brilliantly when he said. “well man, it meant I didn’t have to worry about paying rent for next couple of months”. Of course it meant something more than that, but true meaning is not necessarily derived through social affirmation or applause. When you do what you love and love what you do, that to me that is where true meaning is derived.
Do you have something that you do, that no body else understands or even values if it doesn’t fit into their narrow perspective of life and personal search for meaning ? If you really like what you’re doing and it doesn’t hurt any body else or yourself, then do it ! If you have nothing in your life you like to do then find something or talk to someone that can help you find it. This can be in areas or work, home life, a hobby, a sport, a role like being a grandparent or a friend, listening to music, helping others, church or religious activities and this list can go on and on. The question is what does it feel like to be truely alive? Passion, contentment, happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction, gratification, peacefulness...
To me Life doesn’t necessarily begin at any age, like they used to talk about life beginning at 40 and then 40 became the new 30, and so on. No, to me life begins when you start living, doing those things which you find meaningful and fulfilling, the things that make you come alive. Children always seem to be so good at that, don’t you think ? Have you ever watched a child play, so involved, so focussed and not constantly checking the clock (or their iPhone) before they move onto the next activity or commitment ? No, that does not happen till we get older and start living the scheduled life. But is that really living. People talk endlessly about the work life balance, imploring others to have one as they rush off to yet another meeting or commitment.
I remember when I was living and working in Central QLD. There was one afternoon when my friends were watching test cricket, something that was extremely meaningful to them, and far less so to me, so I went out to the back stairs and watched my mate’s 3 year old daughter play out a whole conversation between two clothes pegs. Yes so cute and so wonderful as she was living the life uninhibited, completely present centred (which I believe is the only place where true healing can ever take place). Who knows if she remembers this 17 years later cause I certainly do and the reason I am writing this.
A’mulberry picking
We used to go
down beside the rivers flow
juice stained shirts and purple fingers The sweetness of spring
the scent still lingers
Yes back then in the long ago, free from the pressures of commitment and schedule my brothers and I could just be, just as the little girl was and I hope can still find the time just to be. The bible says : to enter the kingdom of God we must be like little children, entering their happy place uninhibited, perfectly free, with a true sense of wonderment. .
Where is or was your happy place ? And I’m not necessarily talking about a destination, but more a state of mind. Rediscover or discover this, live it out and some of life’s challenges may just get a little bit easier. Let’s change the work/life balance philosophy to a life/work balance reality. And remember - You are worth it !
