Unpacking the suitcase
“I cant believe your still wearing that” my loving wife gently admonishes
Rather sheepishly I reply, “well it still fits and you know how i feel about throwing things out that still fit me”
It’s almost a pride thing as i reflect, wearing something that I bought 5 years ago.
And then I remembered, I’d bought that shirt in an extra large size. Now why would I have done that ?
I can’t quite remember, perhaps as insurance against the inevitable middle aged spread, an unavoidable component of the aging process, or is it ?
I believe that a lot of things only become true only if we choose to believe them, particularly our perceptions about ourselves.
I remember one of my teachers told me I could not ever become a policeman cause I had flat feet. I still remember to this day how his dismissive and insensitive remark absolutely floored me, especially as the rest of the class laughed. I even check my feet sometimes today to check if they are actually flat and their actually not. As children and adolescents and even as adults we are told many things about ourselves which we do not question. Have you ever wanted to go for a promotion at work and some well meaning colleague suggested that the pressure would be too much for anyone or theres a lot of people applying already so why put yourself through such a stressful process. You might have been doing the same job for 5 years and you do it well so why mess with a good thing
Most recently I have been in the process an developing an online module with a colleague of mine, despite having a definite aversion to this in the past, believing it was too hard and that i did not have the skills, even if i don’t have flat feet. The reality of my admission is that the original wound to my sense of self worth became all pervasive, or at least when it comes to doing and trying new things. The number and wonderful variety of negative comments made about and to us can sadly become like fly paper, where everything sticks unless we have a voice or develop a voice that begins to question these negative comments.
Are you where you want to be right now, personally, professionally, relationally or physically. If you are, congratulations. But if your not, take some time to consider why not. What are the things you say and believe about yourself that hold you back from truly living the life your meant to, free and uninhibited by fear an self doubt. Isn’t it time to start unpacking the suitcase and throw out the things that no longer fit you. Chances someone else was packing your suitcase when you either weren’t looking or assertive enough to say, “no, I’m not going to wear that because it does not fit me, you can keep it with you.
